Fodder from MBTTTR

I am an incredibly lazy blogger. 😀

My punctuation is poor, I know.  I sometimes reread what I have written before I hit “publish” and think to myself, Huh, that passage wasn’t too clear…and then I shrug my shoulders, Clear enough, and hit “publish” anyway.  I let minor typos slide all the time.  Haven’t bothered to pimp my blog or even try to publicize it.  I don’t actually want to publicize it and that’s why I generally refrain from giving linky-love.

That, and laziness.

Yesterday I read something here that I liked.  Hence, the courteous link. 

I liked it because it lines up very well with my own philosophy to marriage: It’s not the big things.

It’s so true.

It’s not enough for me to be able to trust that my husband won’t cheat on me again.  I want to be able to trust him with the care of my heart.  My whole heart.  I need to be able to trust that he won’t crush my heart by insensitively brushing off my feelings just as much as I need to know that he would never crush my heart by being unfaithful. It’s precisely the little things that I have a hard time trusting him with.

The little things really are the big things.  The little things have a way of eroding your trust.  Yeah, maybe he’s not a cheating scumbag, but I still can’t trust him with my heart.  Not my whole heart.

So yeah, we are on the same page.  It’s a sage warning that the “little things” matter a lot.

I was gonna like the post and then I got side tracked by a comment.  (And then I totally forgot to “like” it.  Which I feel shitty about btw. But not shitty enough to go back again and like it.  Lazy, remember?)

Anyhoo.  The comment that sidetracked me read (in part): Good people don’t cheat. And good people don’t choose to get divorced for little reasons. 

I, obviously, disagree.

No, good people don’t cheat.  People cheat.  Good has nothing to do with it.

Why is it that forsaking all others is deemed the more serious breech of trust?  Why isn’t the failure to honor our promise to love and to cherish not held to the same standard?  Why do we not honor for better or for worse with the same fervor?

Honoring your vow to forsake all others when you are breaking all your other vows does not make you good.  (It just makes you a little more sane.)

I mean face it people, we ALL break our vows to each other.  We do it every single day and nobody is immune.  Nobody really, truly loves their spouse in the way we are supposed to.  Period. 
EVERY broken vow is cheating.  We are cheating our spouse out of what we promised to be to themß.  We promised so much more than to merely remain sexual faithful.

Matt, the writer of the blog is simply pointing this out. 

Look, I get that there are douchy people out there who couldn’t care less about keeping any of their promises.  Sometimes people end up marrying assholes. I get that.

And I’m not trying to absolve a cheating partner of their responsibility to own their choice to deliberately break their vow. 

I’m just saying most people (thankfully!) aren’t assholes, but lots of non-assholes are still making mistakes.  Maybe they’re not intentionally making them, but they are damaging marriages all the same.  “Little” mistakes have a way of becoming big deals that erode the health of a marriage. 

Sometimes I wanna scream in frustration, People, wake the FUCK up.  Why do you get not get this?? 

Then I remember how long it took me to get this.

Matt says it so much better than I ever could.

I wish more people would listen to the message.

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